Friday Roundup

I got crunked last night.

That's the most action the BPL has ever seen. WOOOOO PARTY AT THE LIBRARY!

I get sample sale emails from Daily Candy, which I normally open and close just so that the notification will go away.  But today I found this: Dear Creatures!

Eveyrthing is nautical and adorable:

I could wear this and pretend to be on a boat, instead of singing "I'm in a cube! I'm in a cube, everybody look at me, cuz I'm standing in my CUBE!"

 

And oh hello:

 

 

Thoughts on the demand for lawyers stationed on boats.  Are there legal crises on ships that necessitate a lawyer on call, and by on call I mean on the lido deck with a daiquiri?  Sign me up.  I probably need that last dress to fit the part, no?

What I listen to on repeat on my way to an exam



Makes me feel badass.  And just because Grammie C loves telling people to shove it:

If you don't like it, you can shove it

But you don't like it, you love it.

That's my personal motto... that, and everybody wang chung tonight.

This is how law school feels

Source

Ouch

This led to the inevitable question of what else Jews should be called which led to the obligatory reading of wikipedia's list of religious slurs.  As a (non-practicante) Catholic, I'd just like to say that article - which I won't link to because it's kind of terrible - was more than half slurs about Catholics, most of which were sort of funny.. including bead jiggler/rattler/mumbler.  Therefore, it's not like I said something offensive!  I said Jew, which is what you're called when you're Jewish.  Like I practice Catholicism, so I am a Catholic.  I ain't mad at ya.  That's what I am.   For further reference, see Adam Sandler:  "OJ Simpson, not a Jew."  It's an okay word if it rhymes?  Is that how this works?  Did I miss the boat when this was no longer an everyday descriptive noun?  Someone needs to keep me up to speed on what's PC, because I'm always last to know.  Smashley, this is your department.

See also:  that time I told Barb and Jeff I was likely converting because I was on a Jewish boy streak (slump? Jkkkk) and I was going to have to convert someday, so I might as well get it out of the way.  I'm a huge Judeo-phile.  If I'm not having meat on Friday, I'm making sure my fish is Lox, ya heard?

Really, I'm just pissed because the J was on a Triple Word score block, so I'm calling BS on Words with Friends.  If I were playing scrabble with Grammie C, that would have been totally legit, whether or not it's a proper noun or Apple deemed it offensive.

Goin Downeast

(Source)

I have no business being anywhere but the library this weekend, but I just can't say no to Vacationland.

And because this always cracks me up (and is creepily accurate):

Honesty and the Interwebs

I read a lot of health bloggers, including Caitlin of Healthy Tipping Point.  She's fun, I've re-posted her blog links and videos a bunch of times, and I just love her positivity and overall do-gooder mentality.  She's so honest about the good and the bad in a way that I don't think I could ever be on the internet.  She bares her soul everyday, and I give her major kudos for opening herself up to a world of criticism. 

So my comments should be taken with love from a huge fan.

http://www.healthytippingpoint.com/2011/07/green-your-period.html
This made me spit out my coffee and I wasn't even drinking any, to quote El Pres. 

I'm super bad at being a girl, so these statistics about landfills and pollution... oh my.  It's terrifying how much waste I alone will likely produce in my lifetime, and lumping me in with some 52% is staggering.  There's always room for improvement with greening the world, so why not look at these practices that no one really wants to discuss.

But what really creeps me out is this dye stuff.  Honestly, does it matter what color the tampon is?  Does anyone care about this?   If we cared about the color of our tampons, we probably wouldn't be using them to bleed on, no?  I'm much more concerned about my health in the long run, and if someone else wants to spearhead the movement to make tampons not give me cancer (mostly because it kind of icks me out to talk about them too much), I'll be your silent supporter.

But this Diva Cup.  The irony of slapping DIVA on something so personal and messy is not lost on me here.  I feel like this is the Model T of greening your period.  I've never been an early adopter and I'll gladly wait until we're talking about the family sedan of the 50's, built for comfort and ease before I jump on any such BPA-free pooling cup, cancer be damned.  I am from Maine, but I'm a weeeee bit too republican for this.

And now for a real life reaction from a best:

#1: ok

here's my thing
i do not want someone making me feel guilty for using tampons b/c of the environment
the health aspect i will read
but i'm sorry - i am not going to start washing out reusable pads b/c landfills are full of tampons - i'll just come over to your house you hippie and sit on your white couch and then we can talk about how my tampons are ruining the earth
is she f@#%$ kidding with this f@#%$# cup
me: hahahahahaha
#1: dude i want to write her a f@#% rageful email and just be like get real friends and live in the real world for a week
then talk to them about the f$^% diva cup and lady diapers and see what happens

My friends are awesome. 

Friends with Benefits

I went to the movie theater by myself (first solo mission - wasn't bad at all) to see Friends with Benefits at an advanced screening through Gofobo.  Go there, sign up, and you'll get emailed two tickets to advanced screenings of movies in your area.  You're welcome.

Even though I've been signed up for a year, this was the first movie I actually attended.  Because it's an advanced screening, the theater personnel are super paranoid about video cameras taking bootleg copies of the movie, and they actually take your cell phone, put it in a paper bag, and hand you a ticket with the advice not to lose the ticket.  Uh... yuh buddy.  It ended up being fine, but I easily could have departed the theater with 14 iPhones, and in the future I might just leave my phone at home rather than deal with separation anxiety throughout another movie.  Call me neurotic, I can take it.

Source

The movie was adorable.  Yes, I love love and JT, but this was better than that.  If anyone has seen No Strings Attached - which was also good and chick-flicky - this blew it out of the water.  The characters are stronger; their dialogue is better - banter!  God, I love banter - and I think it better captured the emotions behind friends crossing the line.  Everything was inside jokes and teasing and ultimately it was pride that broke up the power balance and caused the obligatory third quarter rift.  Oh, and there were gratuitous flash mobs to melt your heart.

Where NSA panders to the "girl who's too busy for love because of grad school but wants a guy who will just hopelessly fall at her feet and let her walk all over him even though she swears she doesn't need a guy in her life" -- Friends with Benefits was more realistic.  Even the most stressed out busy people want love, (take my law school class, we're all a lovesick mess) and I think the latter did a better job of portraying the complexity of friendship turning into something more, the emotional risk and vulnerability that go into taking such a leap, while managing to be bitingly funny.  It got me to suspend my disbelief and invest in the characters and their relationship in a way that NSA never quite pulled off.  I loved it, I want to go see it again, and boys: take notes here.

My threshold for chick flicks is admittedly pretty low - I just want to walk out of the theater feeling happy and hopeful - but Friends with Benefits is funny enough to satisfy even my male counterparts out there.  Especially one that would watch a pirated copy of the Proposal in bed alone on a Saturday morning.

For those keeping score: here's looking at you, Brenny.

Foursquare just yelled at me?

So.  Sometimes I forget to check-in, but I want Foursquare to know where I've been, so I just update a little later.  We're talking like, I was at lunch and I forgot to check-in but I'm still in the neighborhood so I'll update it later rather than walking into some jerk playing the accordion in downtown crossing while I'm playing with my phone.  I'm just being a conscientious walker and citizen.

Apparently, this is major Foursquare fraud:

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Whatever, I went there, and I'll just remember to update more slowly in the future.  Ain't nothin gonna break my stride. 

And how the hell am I always 9 days away from becoming the mayor of everything?  I'm starting to think this is a crock.  Aw shucks.

Which dress?

I need a dress to go to a wedding that:

1.)  Won't wrinkle in my suitcase
2.)  Won't wardrobe malfunction at the most aggressive dance party since 2007
3.)  Will be prepared for a limbo competition
4.)  Is a good addition to my lineup

So I love this one....

...because it is elegant and drapey (most likely flattering) and the strap will keep it on me, but do not love that is is another almost-black dress to add to my boring attire.

But I love this one....

... mostly because it is purple, and I have no purple, and I want some badly. 

I have two votes for the first and I'm still leaning toward the second.  Why doesn't the first one come in purple?  Do I just order them both and decide based on fit?

Help.

More bromance

Upon hearing that Gilly was off the market, Dwelley subtley tries to woo sweet Gil through texting me promises of a bigger rock...

Good thing we're in Massachusetts. 

And why am I the conduit for man-love-sexting?  Did I just coin mexting?

The T

So, the T and I are not BFF, but public transit is significantly improved by the Catch the Bus and Catch the T apps for the iPhone.  I can legit leave my apartment to the minute so that I walk up as the bus arrives; and as much as I love it now, it's going to be ahhhhmazing in the winter when standing outside makes me want to cry.

But for those of us that can't get these apps in Boston yet, (here's lookin' at you, Blackberry users - but don't worry, you are significantly more coherent via text than I am with my stupid touch screen), there's this: http://www.howfuckedisthet.com/

You can check out the website before you leave your house to know ish how long you should expect to wait.

Life is so much better when it's efficient.  Since you can see the degree of effed the t is in, you know when you have time to grab a coffee or make a call or do anything other than freeze your tush off on the sidewalk and scour the horizon for the big dumb bus.  I feel cooler already.

(And sorry momma, I didn't name it).

Jeal

Vassup, babe?  I can't keep this all to myself.  It would be too selfish.

Adult Sippy Cups

I'm veering off my normal Blue Moon/what-do-you-have-on-tap routine and trying out new cocktails.  I love crazy flavor combos, (kinda like my chicken salad...), like the blueberry basil martini at Scholar's.  Yum. 

So I was scanning the menu last night at Stoddard's Fine Food & Ale, which has never let me down on exciting drinks, looking for something new, when what to my wondering eye should I appear:

A drink of Jasper's Secret Mix and Sailor Jerry?  Anything with sailors is a-okay in my book. 

Then, it was presented like this:

You know it's a good night when your first drink comes in a teddy bear holding a baby teddy bear mug.

Now excuse me while I go google Sailor Jerry and find some bacon.

Food Trucks

Why are they so delicious?

Chicken kebobs in Downtown Crossing are without fail far more delicious than chicken kebobs from a stationary restaurant.  Please discuss.

And then drool and feel free to arrange dates with me that involve twitter stalking any of these places:  http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/food/gallery/foodtrucks/

Getting Mowwwwied

I had the distinct honor of being consulted in the purchase of an engagement ring - and holy-i-know-nothing-about-rocks, Batman. 

So, they all looked pretty, but I still don't know what a princess cut is, and honestly, colors G-L looked like white/clear to me.  The M color which looked like yellow mud looks like those stupid canary diamonds I'm seeing on celebs these days.  Who would want a yellow diamond?  Woof. 

But more importantly, Mr. Groom had spent the last year researching, and the jeweler greeted him by name as we walked in.

Typical for this guy - and it shows how much thought and time and blood and sweat he put into picking the PERFECT ring, and that's what matters.  Just that he cares and put in effort.

But since I know nothing about rocks... (I skipped rocks for jocks and took DINOSAURS) I'll probably be happy with anything, ring-wise, and future Mr. KK can save his year of stress and hemming and hawing and go with something normal looking, because I'm pretty easy to please.  What I do know about, and what I can judge, is the HOW in this scenario.  Because, if I'm spending my life with you, I want a good engagement story. 

Momma and Poppa don't really have one... I think she cared more about the rock, so they went ring shopping together so that she got what she wanted.  I mean, you're wearing something til death do you part, I get wanting to like it.  But I want a big, makes-me-cry, sweet show of emotion that makes me feel like I'm spending my life with someone who really wants to make me happy and surprise me, and not like... buy me off?  I'd rather measure love in gestures than in dinero (and yes, maybe I'd feel differently if I had a better trained eye for rocks?)

SO, any good engagement stories?  Mr. Groom's initial theory involves a honda civic and a confetti cannon, which I need to derail before he brings in Bozo and a bearded lady.  (I'm not available that weekend anyway, haaaaaaaaa).  Help me help him!

OH, and, the other chick on the ring viewing tour: 1.) Dropped the diamond - not the one that was ultimately purchased - and freaked.   2.)  Got a blatant butt stare from the jeweler.  No better way to show that you're single than by going to buy a diamond with a guy friend and knowing nothing about diamonds.  Maybe this should be my new move?

Free Slurpee Day

Monday's lookin up...

http://www.boston.com/Boston/businessupdates/2011/07/eleven-toasts-birthday-with-free-slurpees/5QKZ1cGns8Hcu07cmU7m4L/index.html?p1=Upbox_links

Also - complete side note - I don't know much about seasonings, but I hate bland food and I like crazy flavor combinations.  And other than my years of trial and error (involving more of the latter), I made a cranberry walnut chicken salad last night, and google told me to add dill.  I did it, against my better judgment, expecting it to make the whole batch taste like a weird pickle, but lo and behold - it was delicious. 

My instincts = no good.

Conflicted

I think I just figured out why I'm so into Pitbull.

I don't like most things about him.  He's bald and seems skeezy.  He looks like a completely different person when he takes his aviators off.  He wears suits like a straight Neil Patrick Harris.  This is not sounding like a list of things that "work".

But somehow it's all offset with his incredibly attractive attitude.  He's like a hispanic James Bond, and this is life lesson #5300 that attitude is everything.

And Ne-Yo, you look like Steve Urkel.

Terrible news

Crazy Grammie Charlotte was a Reed, and because I know zero about genealogy, I looked up our family names on the source for all information that is undeniably true, and I'm distraught:

"Reed" is a variant of the surname "Read", which is commonly believed to be a nickname-derived surname referring to a person's complexion or hair being ruddy or red.

I COME FROM A FAMILY NAMED FOR BEING GINGERS.  Apparently they've been weeded out by natural selectivity, because I don't have any ginger relatives that I know of.... but still.  I feel like I found out I was French.  To quote Ms. Handler:  "Along with the 97 percent of women who can see, I have never been a fan of redheaded men."  I'm concerned for my gene pool.  What if I pass it on to a son?  There's gingervitis in my blood!?  Somebody hold me.*

*Kidddddddddddddddddddding.  No gingers or French folk were harmed in the making of this blog post, but seriously Beth, you and your gingophilia stay away from my unborn sons.

Blog domination

At another work going away party (a weekly occurrence) at the new bar down the street from work/school, (which has been open for less than 2 months but has a new monopoly on my discretionary booze spending), minding my own business, when I see a guy I've seen a million times before.  In fact, I had just read how he met his wife that day at work.  So, I stared at this poor guy until I realized again that I'm creeping on a blog person that I have not met, but I know wayyyy too much about.

So, because Laura didn't pepper spray me, I decided to go say hi to Ali, who promptly gave me a big hug and was pumped that I came over to say hi instead of emailing her after the fact.  (I think that would make me more of a stalker, right?  Isn't it more creepy to know that someone was watching you and didn't say hi?)  Not much else to report other than she was so sweet and exactly as she comes across in her blog, and I'm only minorly concerned that my scarf is askew and I'm smiling so big that my cheeks squeeze my eyes shut in the pic we took - also, welcome to every picture I ever take.  Small price to pay for making a new blog friend and being some kind of stalker socialite.

 I kinda love the blogosphere.