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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

A Little Advice...

Required Viewing for this post:
"The Art of Meeting Men."

Ahhh the timeless wisdom of the late eighties. The shoulder pads alone speak volumes about the foresight of these women. C'monnnn, is this how we really encouraged women to meet men? Just nod and lean in? Sometimes you should talk quietly so they have to get closer? As I've said many times to friends concerned with how they look when getting ready for a night on the town - "everywhere we go is dark". I have more conversations that involve yelling over a bumpin dj than these whispered intimate chats. Where were these 80's chicks hanging on Saturday night? The library?

Personal favorite quote - "I suggest you tell him that it really turns you on when a man talks about his feelings." Really? I'm a self professed romantic, one of my favorite phrases is "I love love!" and thinking about a guy that I just met on a park bench telling me about his feelings? Barf.

And let's be serious, my game involves a lot of red wine. The little nugget of wisdom that I should spill my drink and offer to pay for the dry cleaning? A few probs - 1.) the dry cleaning tab would be more than my bar tab, (I'm hanging on to that cab sauv, damn the cost!) 2.) what? am I going to strip a dude in the bar and pretend that I'm not going to lose his shirt on my way home? We're working on making sure my cell phone doesn't get run over by anymore cabs. and 3.) where are the millions of dudes who've spilled their drinks on me with the waiting dry cleaning offer? i don't think they're coming back, in fact, i think most of those who have spilled their drink on me were probably more concerned with the fact that their beer magically disappeared than that there was an angry midge stomping her foot at them.

It's a brave new world for today's singles, and I don't think dry cleaning's included.

OH, Herro.

Lovers and Friends,

I've been tossing around the idea of starting a blog for a long time; however, I belong to a group of friends who have been making fun of the middle school live-journal of a former classmate since 2004. No signs of relenting in the next decade, either. And, to be quite clear and fair, I am a major offender. While I am a firm believer in the no-mercy rule, and expect to receive as good as I get, I hesitated before going out on a limb and posting my thoughts for the world to see.

That being said, I've been told I tell a good story from time to time, and I often refer to my life as an open book. I think the reason 52% of the population (i.e.; all the girlies) related so much to shows like Sex and the City was because, duh, we love gossiping with a group of good girlfriends. As a college graduate who's gal pals landed all over the country and everywhere but here, I miss that! I have this silly little want to share the garish details of my life more often than those quarterly catch up calls.

So welcome to my life... the good, the bad, and the (hopefully rare) ugly. The names and locations may be changed to protect the innocent, although I think I have yet to cross paths with any dudes who deserve anonymity. Let's be serious, guys today should come with carfax. I promise nothing in the way of consistency, just honesty and brutality. Annnnnnd it's on.

Caffeine and chocolate,