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Thursday, December 22, 2011


I've been laughing for a few minutes, so there you go.

Sorry for the language, ma.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Yeah, I'm behind. This is what I like now.

Seconds 20-30 = my life.  I can never find anything in my purse.  I am convinced my car door isn't locked or that my straightener is on and my house is burning down at any given second.  Given the nimrods that live upstairs, I'm not sure why I'm secure in my house not burning to the ground for a reason other than my own forgetfulness.  I'm sooo worrrrried.

She creeps me out because she knows me sooo well.

And yes, I have seen this before, but I love them.  I also love the biggest loser, but more importantly, I love eating everything in sight after my 6 hours of class on Tuesday while watching the biggest loser.   I also like to know if I'm going out later when I  figure out if I should eat now or later.  Have to plan!!!!!!  And, confession: I don't have a fall coat.  I also don't have a boyfriend who's coat I steal, so I guess that really only eff's me over, so... not annoying girl win?

I love Home Alone 2 so hard.  I remember seeing it in the theater, and I remember KNOWING that no movie would ever be as funny as it.   There's just no way.  Merry Christmas, you filthy animals.

And here's some Pitbull, because he was with my through finals.  <3 you, papi.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Good News. I saw a dog today.

In December, I pretty much only speak in Elf quotes, so there's that.

Classes ended last night, I have two finals, and then I get to give Christmas the attention it deserves.  Let's speed through the unpleasantness of the next few weeks, mmk?

Usually, I have trouble sleeping leading up to exams, but this go-round I'm just having crazy dreams.  I also rarely remember dreams, so this is bizarre-o.  On consecutive nights, I dreamt that my car was stolen and I was being blackmailed with secrets affecting national security that were on my cell phone, also stolen with the car, that everyone was going to a party and I wasn't invited, and that I was an "I didn't know I was pregnant" person and spit out a kid and had to buy a booster seat to bring it to law school with me.  My maternal instincts are off the heezy.  And is it weird that I was most upset about the not being invited to a party dream?  The kid was mostly just an annoyance.

I've also heard it said that one's dreams are the most boring, egocentric thing to talk about, so you're welcome.

I feel you should know I got bangs. I think it's because the hair salon served wine, so they get you all hopped up to make some bad decisions.  They're growing on me slowly, but actually having to blow dry my hair every morning is no bueno. Maybe it's good something is forcing me to be an adult and not leave the house with wet hair?

And finally, I leave you with one of my fave Christmas songs, mostly because it makes me laugh (and then feel guilty):

Yes, I know Band-Aid gave a lot of money to charity, but could they have done it without pointing out that they're not going to have a white Christmas?  Or - GASP - they might not celebrate Christmas?  What chimney is Santa climbing down in Africa, Bono?

"Here's to you, Raise your glass for everyone
Here's to them, Underneath that burning sun
Do they know it's christmas time at all?"

Is there a more patronizing song out there?  I challenge you to find it.  And see if it can take me through the range of emotions that this one does.  C'mon, if "the christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom" doesn't give you a panic attack, you might not have feelings.