Search This Blog

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Thank God I didn't peak too early

Operating under the presumption that one can never be too humble, Grammie Charlotte has had this picture on her kitchen table forever.  What's more fascinating is that, as I've grown and matured and no longer resemble a moustache-less Hitler, this picture remains.  While normal families accentuate the positive in each person, glossing over the less-than-newsworthy parts like a bad report card, my family put the dictator-tor front and center at mealtime.

Watch out, fellas.
 There was no way for me to grow up anything short of self-deprecating.

Anyway, what is wrong with people and facebook these days?  A magazine I picked up at the gym explained facebook perfectly - if you're having a bad day, post a picture of yourself looking gooood, or a funny pic, or something silly, and watch people come out and support/laugh/compliment you to no end.  It's a fantastic self-esteem booster, (sorry, just sayin.) 

Therefore, I'd like a moratorium on the facebook self-pity thing.  Fine, I had to accept your friendship because I knew you that one time because of that thing.  I won't be rude, we can be friends.  But your access to my newsfeed is privileged, and you should treat it as such.  Nothing is more annoying than having to find out how to hide your posts so that I don't have to hear about how fat you are as I'm glancing through everyone's merry little lives.  You're not fat, you're just husky, and so am I, according to the levi's I had to wear in second grade (how rude of levi's to name them that).  Let's leave the tearful posts for the livejournals, or for NOT ON THE INTERNET.  It's not a good look for you, random acquaintance.

And more importantly, own whatever you got and laugh about it.  Floppy ears, bug eyes, angry tuft of hair and all.

No comments:

Post a Comment