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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

A Little Advice...

Required Viewing for this post:
"The Art of Meeting Men."

Ahhh the timeless wisdom of the late eighties. The shoulder pads alone speak volumes about the foresight of these women. C'monnnn, is this how we really encouraged women to meet men? Just nod and lean in? Sometimes you should talk quietly so they have to get closer? As I've said many times to friends concerned with how they look when getting ready for a night on the town - "everywhere we go is dark". I have more conversations that involve yelling over a bumpin dj than these whispered intimate chats. Where were these 80's chicks hanging on Saturday night? The library?

Personal favorite quote - "I suggest you tell him that it really turns you on when a man talks about his feelings." Really? I'm a self professed romantic, one of my favorite phrases is "I love love!" and thinking about a guy that I just met on a park bench telling me about his feelings? Barf.

And let's be serious, my game involves a lot of red wine. The little nugget of wisdom that I should spill my drink and offer to pay for the dry cleaning? A few probs - 1.) the dry cleaning tab would be more than my bar tab, (I'm hanging on to that cab sauv, damn the cost!) 2.) what? am I going to strip a dude in the bar and pretend that I'm not going to lose his shirt on my way home? We're working on making sure my cell phone doesn't get run over by anymore cabs. and 3.) where are the millions of dudes who've spilled their drinks on me with the waiting dry cleaning offer? i don't think they're coming back, in fact, i think most of those who have spilled their drink on me were probably more concerned with the fact that their beer magically disappeared than that there was an angry midge stomping her foot at them.

It's a brave new world for today's singles, and I don't think dry cleaning's included.

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