Bacon bacon bacon

Do you ever put your foot in your mouth and then you just can’t stop yourself?


I have a friend. She doesn’t eat pork because she’s Muslim. Not only can I not remember this, I actively bring bacon factoids and articles to her attention. I seek her out specifically as if she and I have this intense common interest in bacon. In general, we tend to agree on everything, so it makes sense, but I am amazed at how many bacon-related topics I find and choose to pass on. Clearly, this is symptomatic of my greater problem of fatkiditis.

Recently, I have:

Invited her to a bacon and beer festival.

Posted a Ben Does Life link on her facebook wall regarding bacon flavored popcorn and then deleted it and pretended it never happened.

Asked for advice on the best of 3 different Dominos pizzas, 2 of which have pork on them.

Today, I narrowly stopped myself from sending her a blog of bacon flavored pickles – which are vegan and therefore not a problem, BUT SERIOUSLY KAIT, PULL IT TOGETHER. NOT EVERYONE LOVES BACON THE WAY YOU DO.

Except this kid.

(Sidenote: this wife swap had to have been a few years ago, right?  Because I’m probably going to have to look him up someday as a potential husband.  Nobody understands me like he does.)

Anyone who would like to be my new bacon go-to friend, please inquire within and save me from myself.